12 random lessons I've learned in 2019

by Kevin Bascao - 11:30 AM

1. If you want to have something you never had, you need to do something you've never done before.

I know this might sound a cliche but this is very true to me. You can't expect different outcomes from the same actions. I believe in fate but I also believe in hardwork. You do not necessarily wait for something to happen. Sometimes you need to move your ass and make things happen. 

Or maybe you have exerted enough effort and even did your best. Yet you are not getting your desired outcome. It will help to take some time to reflect. Do some sort of a year review. If your actions are not taking you somewhere you want to be, it could be an indicator that you need to change your ways and do things differently next year.

2. Your partner or significant other should support you and believe in your dreams

Seriously, if your boyfriend or girlfriend does not believe in you, it should be enough reason to break up with him or her. Your dreams are important to you and the person you are in a relationship with should know, see and feel that. We might fail many times but it's even more painful when the person we expect to cheer us up is actually the person dragging us down.

Your partner's love for you should not be limited to physical aspect. I don't know if it's just me but I'm always after someone's heart and soul. But I do have a thing for smart people, too. Anyway, I just want to point out that it's hard to even imagine that someone is telling you that he or she loves you and yet,  that person doesn't believe in your dreams and your ability to fulfill them. That sucks, right?

3. Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely

I learned to see the beauty on being alone. We now live in the modern technology  era where we can easily connect to people. So much that privacy and social media break have become a luxury. It's okay to be alone especially nowadays. Consider it as having a date with yourself. You could just relax and not think of anything or you could also take this time to think about the plans you have for yourself.

I guess this is why I loved my Bali trip. I wasn't alone the whole time, though. But some days, I was. Also, as some of you know, I'm always anxious about traveling by plane. I'm happy and proud to say that I went to Bali alone and also went back to Manila alone. I dealt with the flight anxiety thing all by myself. 

I also managed to do several things alone like eating and walking along the streets. It's always different when you do things in a place you've never been before. Sometimes we're afraid to do things alone but once we do, outcomes can be pretty amazing. 

4. It's a year of self-discovery

I tried A LOT of things this year. I've been asked questions like "Do you know what you are doing?", "Are serious about that?" and many more. To be fair, I wasn't really sure what I really want and it's why I had to try so many things. There might be no single thing that I am very good at. But knowing myself, there are so many things that I can actually do and accomplish. Personally, this life is a journey and I will keep choosing to discover myself, my passions and my full potential.

Now I am working on something and it's all about a chosen passion or path. It's safe to say that I wouldn't know that this is the right path for me if I haven't tried the others as well. The choices I had before helped me determine which way to go next. 

5. I met people whom I now consider friends

We all met people in 2019. Some literally just passed by and some were meant to stay. Perfect example of the latter for me are the people from my previous job. Even though I left that company, I'm still connected personally with some people I used to work with. It's nice because we have more things to share to each other now than before wherein we would only talk about work-related stuff.

I also attended this certification course where I met great people. When I enrolled, I only had this one thing in my mind and that is to finish the course because it's one of the things I need to do to move forward with my career. But guess what? I did not only finish the course but I was also able to build a relationship with my classmates who are now friends. Amazing!

6. Surround yourself with passionate people

You have to decide what passion you want to pursue at the moment and the next step to take after that is to be with people who share that same passion as you. You'll be surprised how much growth you will experience by just working with them. Not only they will help you but you will also be able to help them. In this way, you grow together by inspiring and motivating one another.

It's always an exciting experience to talk about your passion when you know that people around you are interested to listen to your stories, mainly because they understand you. They feel what you feel. These people are the supportive type and they will help you grow and be successful. 

7. Time heals

I'm sure you've heard this too many times already but yeah, it does. Sometimes we feel too much pain like it's almost impossible to forgive. You need to respect yourself and allow time to heal all wounds. 

Don't force yourself if you are not ready to forgive yet. Give yourself time and move on. Later on you will find yourself whole again and it's probably the right time to forgive the person who hurt you. It's really a painful experience but at the end of the process, you are a wiser and better person. The moment you realize that you have forgiven someone is the same moment that you realize how mature you have become after all the bad stuff you went through. 

8. Don't rush. Trust God's timing.

My younger sister got married this year. I'm really happy for her but also part of me was sad for myself because it felt like I'm being left behind. I even questioned my life choices. Eventually, I had a better perspective of the situation. I learned that it's about enjoying and celebrating my own journey. I was reminded that we all have different timelines and different lives. 

Just look where you are right now. You are far from where you were last year. Focus on yourself. It's also good to assure yourself that God is not yet done with you. Trust Him and trust the process. At this point, I am no longer just talking about marriage. This one is also applicable to career, school or pretty much anything. 

It's not always about the end-result. Often times, it's the journey that we enjoy most. 2020 is coming. Buckle up, 'coz it's gonna be a long ride. Make sure you enjoy each moment. 

9. Best way to explain yourself to others? Don't.

We all know people who would always judge us or comment about us or what we do. I used to care so much about protecting my name but now I am more concerned on maintaining my inner peace. You can choose to defend yourself and  explain why you do things that you do or you could just simply ignore them and continue to live a peaceful life. Your choice. 

As long as you are not hurting anyone and you know you're not doing anything bad, then you're good. It's time to become the unbothered king or queen you should have been a long time ago. 

10. Risks are scary but necessary

I made a very important decision this year. I  have been wanting to try something but it will need me to also give up things that I worked hard for. It was only this year that I finally made that decision to really go for it. Honestly, I was scared. I still am but I am more excited now than scared.

I didn't want another year to pass without me addressing the urge to pursue a different passion. It was a risky move but I had to do something about it. Otherwise, I will live another year full of what ifs, wondering how things will turn out if I did something I'm always scared to do.

This is somehow related to #1. I know it feels nice to stay in our comfort zones but not so much when you already feel stagnant or stuck like there's no more space for growth. You have to be willing to take risks if you want to go somewhere or want to be something else. Sometimes the only way to find out is to try. Always remember to risk carefully, though. As an old saying goes, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket". As we grow older, we learn the art of taking risks and I think that is beautiful.

11. Setting of priorities

I might have traveled less this year, I think? Well, I had to. I haven't had a full-time job since November of this year. I'm only doing part-time time jobs at the moment. I am also studying right now (this is different from the short course which I've also taken this year). My current situation doesn't really allow me to travel as much as I did in the previous years.

Don't get me wrong, I still love traveling. Always have and always will. I would say that it's not really fun to choose something else over traveling but it was a mature thing to do. At least for me, given my situation.

Sometimes you have to choose something else over something that you love to do. Not for good but just temporary. It could be what the situation asks you to do. It's called prioritization. As we become mature adults, we learn to analyze the situations and challenges that we encounter. Our decisions have become more reasonable than ever and no longer based on impulse or pure emotions. #adulting

12. Be kind to others but don't forget to be kind to yourself as well.

My parents taught me to always help others and be a cheerful giver. My experiences taught me different. Many times I found myself also in need of help. But despite that, I would still go extra mile to be there for people who are asking for help. That became a cycle until I got exhausted.

Indeed, you cannot give something you don't have. You need to save something for yourself. You need to help yourself. Because only then, you will be able to help others without destroying yourself.
I did not become selfish, I just learned to love myself more.

Also, remember those times when you had no one but yourself to cheer you up. You were doubted by many people but you believed in yourself. It's you who decided to get back up and continue the fight. Don't forget to thank the person who never left and the person you needed to be during hard times. You did a very good job this year. Thank yourself for that.

Be kind to others. But be kind to yourself as well. 

That's it! I know there are other things that 2019 taught me and I won't probably be able to put everything here. But I did include the best ones I had.

How about you? What did 2019 teach you? I'm sure there's a lot. I hope we use these lessons to better ourselves in 2020. Happy New Year, everyone!

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