Late night thoughts: Quarter Life Crisis

by Kevin Bascao - 11:30 PM

It's almost 12 midnight, I am still wide awake. I am all about contemplating what it really means to be happy as an adult. Or is there any possibility that I could live a happy life as an adult. Because being an adult is one thing. Experiencing quarter-life crisis is another. 

When I was young, I was taught how being practical is important. At a young age, I learned that when I grow up, I need to pick a job that will give me a good pay. As time goes by, I learned this, well, not entirely new but different concept: Passion. I have observed that younger generation believes that everything we do should always be fueled by passion. Or at most, should be based on that. In general, it's also a good thing. 

When was the last time you felt so much passion in doing something?

Passion can be tricky, though. It could change as time goes by. Especially when you are passionate about many things. As you grow older, you get to know yourself more. The things you love and you hate doing.

You may find yourself passionate on something today but feel differently about it tomorrow. Every day is a day to discover a new passion. After all, we live in a world where anything is possible.

On the other hand, I know for a fact that the people who pushed me to choose my profession wanted nothing but for me to have a bright future and a comfortable life.

When you become an adult, your problems are becoming more intense than they used to be. And when you have serious obligations and big responsibilities to your family, you are most likely to follow what was told to you during childhood and that is to get a high-paying job. It's not that bad. Remember, you have a family to feed and bills to pay.

You've always been fine until you realize that you also have an obligation to yourself. You need to make sure that you do what's best for you and that you are happy. I hate to break it to you but at the end of the day, you only have yourself.

Let's say you have already figured out what you really want to do in life. You have found your passion. Still, it's not easy because you have to make several adjustments and sacrifices if you want to pursue your passion. You need to make heartbreaking decisions like giving up a career which you tried building for years. I guess that's all part of it. 

But you know what's even more heartbreaking?

It is the reality that you are living in a third-world country, a poor country, wherein "following your passion" is not an ideal thing to do. Simply because, you were not born rich.

You tend to prioritize your physiological needs. I may be wrong but for most people in my country, passion doesn't always bring you food on your dining table. At some point, you kind of need to choose whether you want to fill a hungry stomach or fill a hungry heart. Again, this is not the case for everyone but I would say, for most people.

For the longest time, I have been thinking about this. To the extent that I'm having sleepless nights doing nothing but just contemplate. Sometimes I cry and pray. Sometimes I write just to lessen the stress in my head and to lighten the burden I have in my heart. Just like now.

Soon, I gotta need to make a decision. I know. I can't stay like this forever. But I just feel I need to make a move and get away from this cycle. I can't just go with the flow all the time. I need a direction. I need to pursue something definite and achieve something specific.

This is a journey. A turning point. An encounter that we need to face. A struggle that we need to fully embrace. All adults come to a point where they make difficult decisions. Mature decisions. This is one of those.


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